This Asherkine issue...
Raising questions more than answers...
Sometimes we think finding answers to an issue is the best way to handle a situation, and this is as a result of the indoctrination of the school system and also largely due to how the brain works. The brain does not like pending questions. It is wired to solve puzzles and mysteries so we invent all manner of solutions or suggestions to fix any problem.
Now without further ado, there is a raging debate which is still ongoing about the propriety of Asherkine, a popular content creator and philanthropist, who has gainfully earned the sobriquet, ”Mr Beast of Nigeria” because of his lavish display of generosity on the streets of Nigeria taking a young lady from Enugu, a state in the Southeast of Nigeria to Lagos to “spoil” her. For those who have not come across his videos, this young man meets a person on the streets who appears to be in need and asks the favoured beneficiary some details of his life and how he can support the person. And candidly he surpasses all expectations in his kindness. The first time I saw his videos, my heart felt warm. This is what we want. Humanity needs healing. There is no better place to start than in Nigeria where the economic pangs are literally distorting our physical faces. They have been questions about his source of livelihood to fund that lifestyle. A content creator explained that this guy has been in the entertainment industry making videos for popular Nigerian artistes notably, Asake, and have closely been working with brands in which he employ subtle marketing for these brands products and services. This makes a lot of sense since he does not use his personal funds for that form of philanthropy and promotion of brands. However I do not know the full story since this information is not from the horse's mouth just like I don't know the behind the scenes of the philanthropic videos he posts on his social media handles.
Recently he went to the University of Nigeria (UNN) in Enugu state. He met this good looking, fair complexioned lady who he described “pretty like a flower”, gave an affectionate shake of hands and asked her if she had a boyfriend. She replied “No”. And like they say, the rest is history as the young woman had the time of life. This video generated a lot of controversy as there were claims that the lady was already in a relationship as she lied. I have not read any rebuttal from the lady in question concerning this claim. But that is not the issue for me. This incident presented a special opportunity to revisit our society stance in some issues and rethink our beliefs. The issues raised in that video borders on:
Whether a lady who has a boyfriend is not allowed to have any form of meeting or connection with another guy even if it is harmless and might even benefit both parties in the future;
Whether the lady was genuinely honest about her relationship status;
Whether it was morally right for an unmarried lady to hop on a plane with a guy that she barely knows and have no string of committment with?
I would stop with these solid issues that have been scooped from the opinions of Netizens.
In answering the first question, I think it is important to properly define these words, “boyfriend” or “ girlfriend”. According to Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary, a boyfriend is a man or boy with whom you have a sexual or romantic relationship with. This same definition applies to “girlfriend”. From the definition, this form of relationship lacks any form of committment but is not void of enough chemistry and feelings. No law of any nation at least the ones that are recognised by the United Nations (UN) recognises or pass on legal status to that form of relationship. This simply means that unlike in a marriage contract, there are rights and obligations that are due to both parties. To bring it home, the girlfriend owes the boyfriend nothing and vice-verca. Therefore, even if that lady had a boyfriend she only owe him a notification through a call, text or whatever means of the new development out if courtesy which depends on the depth of the relationship. She is still a young lady and anybody that comes her way that she feels can take her to the “promised land” should not be shooed away because of a relationship not yet made legal. She has not been engaged yet; she has not been bethroted to the guy; she has not walked down the aisle. Please take it easy on her. Even in business contracts, a partner can make a sudden U - turn. If not for our over-reaching minds, why should we think of that episode as a romantic date instead of an appreciation of beauty or hospitality by compassion?
That Netizens strongly refuted her claim that she was single was a strong reason to bring up the question of whether she was truly honest about her relationship status. Why would she lie? Was she tense? Was there too much at stake? Was she being smart as this is a lifetime opportunity? I don't the truth. I know that in Nigeria, truth is scarce as essential commodities like milk, bread, sugar and the rest are becoming scarce because of their inflated prices. She might be struggling to feed and take care of yourself in school. Who knows? She probably hasn't eaten anything before she met her “destiny helper”. It is tough out there. Come to think of it, she entered a plane. She did this on a platter of gold, just like that! She was probably the first person to achieve this feat in her family. Even if she lied, forgive her.
But the underlying issue is that the first impulse to the lady's confession of her singlehood says a lot about our nation.
The last issue to be debated upon is the vanguard of this discussion which I would love to get unique perspectives. Is it morally right for a young lady who was sent by her parents to study in school to follow a guy for an exquisite treat? Obviously the experience was not a one day event. For two unmarried youths who barely know each other to take on that adventure shows how bold and carefree we have become which by itself may not necessarily be a bad thing in itself. For I have noticed something in our generation, youths of this generation live for the moments and care not too much about the future implications of their decisions. Should we think of future precedents? In a world where everything goes fast, you can imagine eating your lunch while doom scrolling only to see your sister who slept in the same house with you in an affectionate date with a popular influencer in Lagos barely four hours ago….